Where is the hickey?
The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
