He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
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