I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Randomize
