it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize