Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
Randomize
