i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
