Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Randomize
