My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
Boobs are out for the taking
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
The adults are the big ones right?
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
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