I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
Randomize
