I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
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