she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Randomize
