Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
We had to coat check the pizza.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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