I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Randomize