That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
