i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
Randomize
