I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
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