He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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