i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
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