If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize
