Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Randomize
