I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
Randomize
