NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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