I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
