Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
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