Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
