It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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