I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Randomize
