yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Randomize
