dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
Randomize
