my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
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