So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Randomize
