Having a random hookup so left but love u
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Randomize