p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Randomize
