Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
