Me. At least after what I've been through.
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
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