idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Randomize
