Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
Holy sore nipples Batman
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
