I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
