i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
