she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
