Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
