How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
