I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Randomize
