Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
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