just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
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