omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize
