so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
mondays should just be called national damage control day
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
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