oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
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