There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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