What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
