Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
Randomize
