not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
Randomize
