You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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