worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
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