I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
Randomize
