i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
