So drunk its hurt
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
Randomize