If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Randomize
