You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
OPIZZABONMYDICK
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Randomize
