Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
