had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
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