So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Randomize
