You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
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