We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Randomize