what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize