i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
